When my oldest son was twelve, he played a season or two of travel baseball. His coach was not particularly effective in any capacity, but I still remember what was probably his only good bit of advice: “Good things happen when you swing the bat.” It’s maybe one of the best metaphors for living that I’ve ever heard.

Last night I had a brief chat with my 19-year-old, just encouraging him to look into an opportunity. He didn’t sound thrilled. “Nothing will come of it,” he said. “Seems like a whole lot of effort for nothing.” And I get that. It might be a whole lot of effort for nothing. Or it might be a whole lot of effort for something. No way to know if he never swings the bat.

It’s taken me a long time to learn that thinking about outcomes is the wrong way to approach things. That focus can tie you in knots and get you stuck trying to control things you have no control over. If you’re too focused on the outcome, you’ll often refuse to swing. My 19-year-old doesn’t want to waste his effort, but in doing so he guarantees his outcome. He avoids experiencing the disappointment of a swing and a miss, but he gains nothing.

Swinging the bat takes some faith, but not the kind of blind faith that says, if I do it, I’ll succeed. That’s ridiculous. Instead it takes the faith that says, if I swing and miss, I’ll be okay.

I am trying to swing the bat more and more in my life, but I haven’t hit any home runs yet. I’m writing the words, enjoying the swing, and not even thinking about whether anything ever comes of it——that is, anything beyond the joy of getting the words on paper.

I doubt the 19-year-old will take my advice, not that he’s particularly stubborn, but simply because he’s 19 and he does what he wants. He has to figure this out for himself. But this is what I said to him: “Life is about sowing seeds. Some grow into plants, and some don’t. No way to know ahead of time. But if you don’t plant anything, you won’t get anything. That is a guarantee.”