Loss and death and disappointment all find their way to us at one time or another, and when they do, these things usually look like they will have the last word. I frequently find myself imagining the disciples after Jesus had been crucified and died—how it looked like death had had the final say. Who can even calculate their disappointment? Things were not as they had hoped.

But God is a trustworthy author, and death, disappointment, and loss never get the last word. In his story, loss is always gain and death always leads to new life. Sometimes we’re just stuck in that in-between before the page has turned for the new chapter.

When Jesus died, the disciples experienced grief and disappointment because their dreams for Jesus had been too small. God’s dream for Jesus was far more grand and masterful than anyone could have hoped for.

Each of us reaches moments in life where we must die into a bigger dream. This never feels grand or masterful, and we rarely do it willingly. We try to rig our lives to avoid pain, and sometimes we succeed. None of us welcomes a death, a job loss, a failed business, a divorce, a sickness, or a betrayal. When these things come, we find ourselves devastated and confused. Surely things weren’t supposed to be this way.

Faith, I think, is a sort of space for the unknown. It’s that hollowed out place after the worst has come, and we are still alive, if nothing much more than that. Faith is certainly not optimism, nor is it certainty. When you live in faith, you can wait in the in-between, after the words of loss have been written on your pages, and before the next chapter starts hinting at good things to come.